History says John Hancock signed a declaration.
Freedom Flavors says General Thicc-Hancock signed a problem..
Because this isn’t some polite, museum-tour founding father.
This is a tactical-vested, battlefield-ready, full-send patriot who writes official documents with one hand and holds a bag of Original Signature Cut with the other… like it’s classified equipment.
You can practically hear him yelling:
“Bring me the ink. Bring me the bag.
And if anyone shows up with bland snacks, I’m writing them out of the country.”
And then the slogan hits like a mortar round:
THE JERKY IS CAST — AND SO ARE YOUR TASTE BUDS.
 
Translation:
Once you try Freedom Flavors, you’re not “sampling.”
You’re committing. You’re pledging allegiance. You’re becoming the guy who keeps jerky in his vehicle like it’s a piece of safety gear.
 
This tee is for:
Vets and military folks who still live by “if it’s not written down, it didn’t happen”
Gym rats who consider protein a moral obligation
People who don’t “snack”… they conduct operations
Anyone who wants a shirt that gets laughs, respect, and “where do I buy that?” within 30 seconds
 
Wearing this shirt may result in:
✅ Random strangers reading “Thicc-Hancock” out loud and losing it
✅ Your buddies calling you “General” for no reason
✅ You getting promoted to “Snack Guy” at every cookout
✅ Sudden confidence and a suspicious urge to sign everything dramatically
This design is loud, detailed, and built for people who like their humor slightly reckless and their snacks absolutely serious.
Freedom Flavors — the true taste of freedom.