Some people read history books.
Other people become the problem in a tavern and call it patriotism.
Introducing SAMUEL AB-DAMS — the founding father they don’t teach about in school because he’s built like a cannonball, fueled by Freedom Flavors, and absolutely allergic to boring snacks.
This man didn’t throw tea in the harbor…
he threw weak flavor in the trash.
With a flaming torch of meat in one hand and two mugs of “FF-approved morale” in the other, Samuel Ab-Dams is here to remind you of the only real American rights:
Life
Liberty
And having something delicious to chew on while you judge everyone else’s snack choices
And that quote on the bottom?
“GIVE ME FLAVOR OR GIVE ME DEATH.”
That’s not a slogan — that’s a lifestyle choice.
Who this shirt is for:
Patriots with a sense of humor
Vets and military folks who still treat snack time like an operation
Gym rats who think “cardio” is walking to the pantry
Anyone who’s ever said “I’ll just have one piece” and then woke up with an empty bag and zero regrets
Side effects of wearing this shirt:
✅ People laughing before they even finish reading the name
✅ Strangers asking where you got it
✅ Your buddies trying to “borrow it” permanently
✅ A sudden craving for jerky and bad decisions (the fun kind)
Wear the chaos. Start conversations. Earn compliments.
And if somebody asks what it means, tell them the truth:
Freedom Flavors. The official snack of American nonsense.