Some generals win wars with strategy.
General Grant Gains wins wars with protein, intimidation, and a bag of Freedom Flavors held like a trophy.
 
This is the official tee for anyone who:
treats snack time like a mission brief
keeps jerky in the glovebox like emergency equipment
and believes fear is temporary… but flavor is forever
Front and center you’ve got Grant Gains posted up in full kit, cigar in the mouth, chaos in the background, and the confidence of a man who’s never once said “I’ll just have a salad.” He’s holding that bag like:
“Yeah. This is mine.
No. You can’t have any.
And yes… you can absolutely watch me chew.”
And then the slogan seals it:
WE EAT. THEY RETREAT.
 
Because when Freedom Flavors hits the battlefield (or the cookout… or the gym… or your couch at 11:47PM), the weak snacks don’t just lose — they evacuate.
 
This shirt is for:
Vets and military folks who still call errands “operations”
Gym rats who measure happiness in grams of protein
People who don’t “share snacks” because that’s not in the SOP
Anyone who wants a shirt that gets laughs, nods, and “where’d you get that?” immediately
 
Wearing this shirt may cause:
✅ Your buddies calling you “General” for the rest of your life
✅ Random strangers laughing out loud mid-store aisle
✅ Someone asking about the jerky… and you immediately giving them the website like a recruiter
✅ A sudden urge to stand like a statue and chew aggressively for dominance
 
This isn’t just a design — it’s a warning sign for anyone showing up with bland, gas-station sadness.
Freedom Flavors — the true taste of “don’t test me.”