You’re not buying a shirt.
You’re enlisting in a snack-based warrior culture where the only code is Bushido… but make it beef.
Introducing GENERAL JERKY ENFORCER: BUSHIDO — the patriotic, battle-forged, smoked-meat shogun who doesn’t “snack.” He conducts operations.
This absolute unit shows up in full war gear, jaw clenched, sword out, and a bag of Freedom Flavors in hand like:
“Give me jerky… or give me death.”