History class lied to you.
They told you Abraham Lincoln was a calm, humble guy who gave speeches and freed a nation.
What they didn’t tell you is… if Abe had access to Freedom Flavors, he would’ve been built like a brick wall, running Snack Operations, and personally enforcing freedom one chew at a time.
Introducing GENERAL ABE SHREDRAHAM — part president, part warlord, full-time protein patriot.
He’s rocking the tactical drip, the eagle backup, and the “don’t test me” stare — with a fist full of meat like:
“I’m not mad. I’m just hungry… and you’re in my way.”
This tee is for:
Vets and patriots who like their humor dark and their snacks serious
Gym rats who treat jerky like a love language
People who can’t walk past a bag of Freedom Flavors without “accidentally” finishing it
Anyone who believes freedom tastes better when it’s smoked and slightly disrespectful
Wearing this shirt may result in:
✅ Random dudes nodding at you like you’re in the same unit
✅ Someone reading “General Abe Shredraham” out loud and laughing mid-sentence
✅ Immediate hunger, followed by “Where do I buy that jerky?”
✅ You becoming the guy who shows up to the cookout like it’s a deployment
And yes — that’s 9 LINE and 99 ZULU on the kit, because Abe doesn’t do peace talks… he does flavor negotiations.
THE TASTE OF FREEDOM.